So Posh Spice gave birth to a baby girl this morning, whom she and husband David Beckham named “Harper Seven.” Clearly, the Beckhams are huge fans of To Kill A Mockingbird and the nineties television show “Blossom.” It was announced, as all important things are these days, via Facebook this morning, where her footballer husband posted:

“I am so proud and excited to announce the birth of our daughter Harper Seven Beckham. She weighed a healthy 7lbs 10oz and arrived at 7.55 this morning, here in LA. Victoria is doing really well and her brothers are delighted to have a baby sister xx.”

As stoked as I am to see little Harper Seven in all kinds of absurdly expensive child fashion, I am a teeny tiny bit worried for her. I hope she doesn’t inherit her mother’s issues with food, and that the strict diet Posh currently keeps herself on does not extend to her little girl. God help her if she’s naturally chubby. However, we’ve got no reason yet to believe Victoria’s maternal instincts won’t kick in and make her want to protect her daughter from all the societal bullshit about skinniness, even though she herself chooses to participate in it, right? I mean, it’s hard to tell without knowing her personally, which of course I do not. (Call me?)

Anyway, mazel tov to the new parents. May your shipment of baby Lanvin arrive swiftly, and may you never make your kid feel like a failure for not being as skinny as you.