Remember when we decided we were going to just take all the designer gifts, because then we’d be happy? And Ashley was all “Jesus Christ, Jennifer, you make choices?” She wasn’t really like that. She only talks exactly the way I do in my head. She was like this.
Never mind! Accepting all the gifts is freedom itself! We are flying free like an egret! Or a fabulously bewigged eagle. Yes, free like America itself.
You know who else embodies the American spirit? Probably much better than I do? Ralph Lauren. Who just offered a lovely dress from their upcoming summer Lauren by Ralph Lauren collection. Please help me decide which one to take. Do this so that 1) if you, like Ashley, think that accepting gifts betrays a slight lack of integrity, you can pick one that will make me look like a hilarious monster-person and 2) I do not have to make decisions, because making decisions about awesome stuff is hard.
I’ve narrowed it down to a few. I will say that I think the orange one (pictured above) is pretty great – I love a dress that can go from work to a party. However! I am worried that a shade that bright will look crazy with my coloring. I’m pretty pale skinned, and generally wear a lot of blacks, whites and blues. This is what I look like.