whitney lifetimeThe trailer for Lifetime‘s Whitney Houston biopic was released yesterday, and everyone seems to be marveling at the fact that the movie actually looks good. (I’m confused, has Lifetime ever made a bad movie?) We here at The Gloss are marveling over something else entirely: how on earth did they fit so many sequins into a one-minute trailer?? 

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In one minute full of singing, sexing, and drug-doing, Lifetime‘s costume designers managed to squeeze in not three, not five, not seven, but nine different sequined outfits on star Yaya DaCosta. With so much else going on, the math on that just seems improbable.

Of course, the looks are fabulously dramatic in the spirit of Whitey Houston and her singular voice. But human nature hath bestowed upon us this nasty little habit of putting things in order, so I must rank the sequins for you here and now.

1. Gold and Pearls

whitney houston lifetime 5This look is just pure sparkly bliss.

2. Casual Multicolored Sequined Jacket

whitney houston lifetime 9The sleek hair, the casual white tank, the colors. I would wear this every day.

3. The Performance Gown

whitney houston lifetime 8This is the big moment when Whitney sings “And I…….” and we all just burst into tears. Stunning.

4. Gold Sequined Motorcycle Jacket

whitney houston lifetime 7How much do you want to wear this over an LBD for NYE? (Yeah, I hate myself for that a little bit too.)

5. Sequined Lapel Blazer

whitney houston lifetime 4Just a touch of sequins for when she’s slaying in the studio.

Click through for the sequined looks that can stay in the eighties…

 6. Blush Sequined Blazer

whitney houston lifetime 10It’s hard to tell, but they even snuck sequins into this very tense, very sad moment. Not to talk of petty things like fashion at a time like this, but I would totally wear that.

7. Purple Sequined Set

whitney houston lifetime 6Ooooohh baby those are some vibrant sequins. After the initial shock and revulsion, it’s kind of tough not to love such a ridiculous outfit.

8. The Puffy Sleeved Sequins

whitney houston lifetimeShe looks killer and I love this gold skin-like top, but I think this particular shoulderpad moment is better left as a fond memory.

9. Iridescent White Tights, Enough Said

whitney houston lifetime 3Is it just me or does that guy look like he’s doing the Soulja Boy?