Would you like to know the details? I went to a “Sexy Shoe” Breakfast at Saks, yesterday. It was to preview “the hottest heels of the season” selected by Footwear News. I figured I’d go, look at some shoes, eat some of the fresh fruit that is invariably laid out at these things. Maybe a mini-croissant. They also mentioned that they were having a contest where a blogger in attendance would win a $150 gift card to Saks Shoes. I filled out the card, and threw it in the bowl, fully realizing I would never win, because I never win contests.


I realize there is a possibility that Saks has strict gift giving policies, and perhaps every blogger who attended was a winner, but no matter.

Suffice to say, this has really helped me overcome my fear of Saks. It’s a place I’ve been subtly intimidated by since the remake of The Women. There’s a scene where the Annette Bening character is walking through Saks and one her friends daughter’s is walking with her. The daughter says, “I hate it here” (she’s about five) and Annette Bening gets down on both knees, grabs the child by the shoulders and hisses “nobody. doesn’t. love. Saks.” And I remember thinking “well, maybe not, but I bet that child is traumatized by it, now. So I guess her love for it will be buried under a heavy layer of trauma.” I felt for that kid.

No more. No more, for I am a winner.

Nobody. Doesn’t. Love. Saks.

Look. There’s almost a 100% chance I’m going to put my $150 towards a sensible pair of round toed pumps, like always. But! If I were to choose from one of the shoes on display yesterday, which should I get? I will show you some pictures of my favorite ones.

Frankly, I think I like these  Christian Louboutins because they make me think of a dinosaur. I’m not sure that’s sexy, but people are subconsciously attracted to dinosaurs, right?

sexy shoes

Oh my gosh, I would walk the streets humming songs from the 70’s and just waiting for Andy Warhol to discover me in this Miu Miu pair:

Or these! They have a ruffle! Look at how Nicholas Kirkwood put a ruffle on that big strong boot!

Or… Prada. I don’t normally like wedges, but the cool curvy shape here reminds me of a courtesan’s shoes from the 16th century and I could get really into that.