Sarah Jessica Parker launches her new shoe collection 'SJP'

Sarah Jessica Parker is touring America’s malls to launch her new shoe line, SJP, and unfortunately has been engaging in some questionable fashion choices. She’s been on a layering kick as of late that I’m finding pretty confusing, especially given Parker’s position as a major player in the fashion industry. I’m normally a big fan of her styling choices, which tend towards a nice balance of pretty but not boring, but this simply will not stand.

Sarah Jessica Parker launches her new shoe collection 'SJP'

If this look were limited to that pink Dolce & Gabbana dress, I think everything could be copasetic. Unfortunately, Parker made a series of bizarre styling choices that took this from cute dress to fifteen-year-old reads “layering is hip.” I think I wore this exact same outfit to a birthday party freshman year of high school. On an unrelated note, I also spent a lot of high school birthday parties hiding in the bathroom or talking to the parental chaperones.

If I could pinpoint where this starts to go off the rails, I’d say it’s the white button down with those full sleeves. Once you decided to add a pirate’s blouson to an otherwise nice dress that probably functions just fine on its own, it’s easy to lose all control. Things really took a turn for the worst when she added black stirrup sheer pantyhose. Black tights would have been unsuitable enough, but the stirrup really makes it poetry. From there, it was a pretty easy downward spiral into a string of pearls, an additional chunky gold choker, extraneous rings, and strappy heels.

Oh well, obviously if you have enough public functions to attend, you’re not going to look sensational at every single one. It’s simply a statistical improbability. But I’d be thrilled if Parker just wore a dress at her next event, instead of every item of clothing that she owns. So, what do you think?

Photos: JLN Photography/WENN.com