Sergio Zambon has brought you the banana heel, and with it, he brought back fond memories of the Self Defense Against fruit skit from Monthy Python. You don’t know it? Well, we’ve copied it down for you:

We haven’t done them, have we? Right. Bananas. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. Now you, come at me with this banana. Catch! Now, it’s quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him ‘elpless.

Palin:
Suppose he’s got a bunch.

Sgt.:
Shut up.

Idle:
Suppose he’s got a pointed stick.

Sgt.:
Shut up. Right now you, Mr Apricot.

Chapman:
‘Arrison.

Sgt.:
Sorry, Mr. ‘Arrison. Come at me with that banana. Hold it like that, that’s it. Now attack me with it. Come on! Come on! Come at me! Come at me then! (Shoots him.)

Chapman:
Aaagh! (dies.)

Sgt.:
Now, I eat the banana. (Does so.)

Palin:
You shot him!

Jones:
He’s dead!

Idle:
He’s completely dead!

Sgt.:
I have now eaten the banana. The deceased, Mr Apricot, is now ‘elpless.

Palin:
You shot him. You shot him dead.

Sgt.:
Well, he was attacking me with a banana.