Merry Christmas and happy holidays from everyone at The Gloss! Here’s hoping you didn’t get any of these heinous items as a gift this year. Because holy hell. Ho-ly hell. Just look!


1. Tampon Cat Toy, Meowadays on Etsy, $10.00. Dear god. Why?


2. Shreddies Flatulence Filtering Underwear, Shreddies, 26 British pounds. Underwear that filters your farts. Can you imagine how offended you’d be if someone gave you these?!


3. Adolf Hitler Portrait Welcome Sign, Ihave3heads on Etsy, $40.00. I don’t know if this is supposed to be ironic or not, but either way, it’s an awkward present to receive and an even more awkward thing to hang anywhere on Earth.

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4. Abraham Lincoln: Fuck Lord Of The Moon Ebook, Amazon, $2.99. This is more weird than terrible because I think it would actually make a hilarious gift for a Civil War scholar. Or anyone with a good sense of humor, really.


5. Hand Beaded Toilet Paper Earrings, LiciaBeads on Etsy, $36.00. For the bathroom enthusiast? I don’t even know. I just don’t know.


6. I Clean, I Jerk And I Have A Nice Snatch Shirt, ExplicitTShirtStore on Etsy, $15.95. I know that this is some sort of Crossfit reference about being strong and working out, but I still find it profoundly tacky.


7. Poo Candle, CocoCandles on Etsy, $15.00. Poo candle. ‘Nuff said, am I right?


8. “Cum Inside” Crystal Vajazzle Tattoo, Amazon, $1.56. Ok, if this turns you on, I guess I really can’t fault you. But I hope you wouldn’t have to open this gift in mixed company.

Which one do you think is the worst? For me, it’s the Hitler sign.

All photos via respective retailers