Refinery29 has a list detailing how you can fix 8 common shopping mistakes. But there are some mistakes that can never be fixed. We thought of those.
- You bought a cape. Look, it’s happened to all of us. Where are you going to wear that cape? Wizarding school? You are not a wizard.
- What if you just start bleeding from your ears at the register?
- What if every time you try to buy something online, your computer explodes, just explodes like you live in a spy movie?
- What if you are, in fact, a spy, and you accidentally bought shoes without a knife in them. What are you going to do? Go back and say, “Add a knife, for foot stabbing?” They’re not going to do that. You’ve already tried them on.
- You are a T-rex, and you just tried on a cardigan that you’ll never be able to remove. It’s too humiliating to ask anyone for help, ever.
- Your entire body is made out lasers, and whenever you try clothing on, it just explodes. Just explodes in the most mortifying possible fashion,
- The seven way mirror somehow meant that you only evaluated your outfit from the most insane possible angle (overhead and behind you, slightly to the right).
- You realize that there’s essentially no event that really calls for Alexander McQueen, right? I know it is the most beautiful, but maybe you should not have spent your rent on that, in retrospect. Not that you can do anything about it, now.
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