British Fashion Awards 2013 - Red Carpet Arrivals

When Sienna Miller decided to get dressed for last night’s British Fashion Awards (and here’s all the red carpet looks), she apparently decided to wrap a shower curtain around her body, fasten it haphazardly, style it with non sensical accessories, and give herself a dye job that only a Manic Pixie Dream Girl-seeking boy could love. She knew there would be cameras, right?
British Fashion Awards 2013 - Red Carpet Arrivals This has two peices going for it that I love, but simply don’t work together and are bogged down by everything else being awful. The emerald color of her Burberry Prorsum gown is stunning and her weirdo hair color actually appeals to me, but neither worked together in the slightest. The hair and gown fought each other, and created trouble for my poor eyes that were just trying to take this all in. Perhaps she could have made her hair work with a dress that was more muted and/or structured.

Which brings me to the next issue: that gown doesn’t fit her body or look like it would fit any human’s body. The bodice and – what should I call it? – underpants area sits funny, as if it couldn’t make up its mind between being drapey or tailored. Instead, it just puckers. The overall effect is sloppy, which really isn’t helped by the fact that she doesn’t seem to own a hairbrush.

But the true tour de force was the accessories choice, which included a necklace, clutch, and bracelet that all look like they were purchased in the gift shop of the hotel you stayed in on that Caribbean vacation in the fourth grade where you, quite regrettably, got your hair cornrowed.

British Fashion Awards 2013 - Red Carpet Arrivals

Am I off base here? Any great defenders of the ill-fitting gown/novelty jewelry look out there?

Photos: Getty Images