Bettie Page -- the ultimate pin-up girl with a flair for the kink.

This morning involved some prancing around in my new bathing suit. Although I did so in my apartment so as to spare the world from my winter-pale skin and my fancy foot-work thanks to my wool socks I usually don’t put away until August, all while cursing the cold weather, there was still much prancing to be had.

My new suit is a sea-green bikini that, if everything goes as planned and The Meatball Shop would just go out of business and help me already, I should be able to wear by June — of 2025. For many, myself included, bathing suit season is a dreadful reminder that we are, and are you sitting down and ready for this revelation? LESS THAN PERFECT. Me oh my! It’s also a reminder that perfection is overrated and all those things you’ve labeled as flaws are actually pretty hot. I think science and experience have long taught us that sexy is a state of mind. In other words, I shall let The Meatball Shop survive and prosper, while not avoiding it like an ex-boyfriend who broke my heart one night when he admitted he actually does secretly like Coldplay.

So let’s take a break from beating ourselves over the head with society’s idea of skinny and beauty, toss on our own bathing suits and check out some of the most iconic bathing suits of the past century.