The Teen Choice Awards are usually the only red carpet with enough bright, bold mini-skirts to rival an MTV awards show–last night at the 2013 ceremony, however, the Teen Choice Awards red carpet was wall to wall fashion disasters. Pretty much everything bombed. Spectacularly.
Much has been made of Abigail Breslin looking all growed up. Also, nothing here goes together. Is that a sequined bolero?
Anna Camp‘s dress is very “figure skater” meets “breath mint.”
Ashley Benson‘s look is a mess.
Though we are usually firmly in the Chloe Moretz camp, this is incoherent.
Also bumming us out is Hailee Steinfeld, usually never a disappointment on red carpets. The dress is nonsenical, but the real problem is all the extensions and the cheesy makeup. Where did you go, Hailee??
Chord Overstreet. Ah, to be a man on the red carpet.
Ian Somerhalder. Seriously–they don’t even have to try, do they?
You can probably guess how we feel about Crystal Reed‘s weirdo printed peplum (!) jumpsuit.
Just kidding, we think it’s kind of great.
Demi Lovato. Not good. Very not good.
Why, yes. Yes there’s more:
Jane Lynch in one of her Jane Lynchier outfits.
Janel Parrish. The styling here is very Forever 21.
The Jonas Brothers. They’re all Jonas men now!
Jordin Sparks. We’re required by enterainment gossip blog law to remark on Jordin Sparks’ figure. But we shirk it!
Kat Graham. Nothing on this carpet makes visual sense.
Kerry Washington–and a rare misstep from Washington, too! How?
While we like the oddball Stella McCartney dress, those mismatched crystal-studded Louboutins are killing us.
Lily Collins. There at least one idea we like here, but it’s buried real, real deep.
Lucy Hale. Great. A crop top.
Though Naya Rivera‘s (with Big Sean) is way more ludicrous.
Nina Dobrev. We’ll forgive a lot for wacky prints. But what’s with the clutch?
One Direction is looking like the window of an Armani Exchange.
Paramore’s Haley Williams (and band) debuted a severe new haircut.
Selena Gomez would like us to index this as sophisticated and chic. It is not. It is very silly.
Shay Mitchell. Worst shoes of the evening?
Tia and Tamera Mowry were there.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Miley Cyrus, trying much too hard in Saint Laurent.
(All photos via Getty)