Singer Hayley Williams of Paramore performs at the Teen Choice Awards 2013 at the Gibson Amphitheatre on August 11, 2013 in Universal City, California.  (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

The Teen Choice Awards are usually the only red carpet with enough bright, bold mini-skirts to rival an MTV awards show–last night at the 2013 ceremony, however, the Teen Choice Awards red carpet was wall to wall fashion disasters. Pretty much everything bombed. Spectacularly.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Much has been made of Abigail Breslin looking all growed up. Also, nothing here goes together. Is that a sequined bolero?

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Anna Camp‘s dress is very “figure skater” meets “breath mint.”

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Ashley Benson‘s look is a mess.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals Though we are usually firmly in the Chloe Moretz camp, this is incoherent.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Also bumming us out is Hailee Steinfeld, usually never a disappointment on red carpets. The dress is nonsenical, but the real problem is all the extensions and the cheesy makeup. Where did you go, Hailee??

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals
Chord Overstreet. Ah, to be a man on the red carpet.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Ian Somerhalder. Seriously–they don’t even have to try, do they?

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals You can probably guess how we feel about Crystal Reed‘s weirdo printed peplum (!) jumpsuit.

Just kidding, we think it’s kind of great.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Demi Lovato. Not good. Very not good.

Why, yes. Yes there’s more:

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Jane Lynch in one of her Jane Lynchier outfits.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Janel Parrish. The styling here is very Forever 21.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Jenna Ushkowitz.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

The Jonas Brothers. They’re all Jonas men now!

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Jordin Sparks. We’re required by enterainment gossip blog law to remark on Jordin Sparks’ figure. But we shirk it!

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Jesus Christ.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Kat Graham. Nothing on this carpet makes visual sense.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Kerry Washington–and a rare misstep from Washington, too! How?

While we like the oddball Stella McCartney dress, those mismatched crystal-studded Louboutins are killing us.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Lily Collins. There at least one idea we like here, but it’s buried real, real deep.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Lucy Hale. Great. A crop top. 

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Though Naya Rivera‘s (with Big Sean) is way more ludicrous.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Nelly. LOL.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Nina Dobrev. We’ll forgive a lot for wacky prints. But what’s with the clutch?

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

One Direction is looking like the window of an Armani Exchange. 

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Paramore’s Haley Williams (and band) debuted a severe new haircut.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Selena Gomez would like us to index this as sophisticated and chic. It is not. It is very silly.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Shay Mitchell. Worst shoes of the evening?

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Brittany Snow.

Teen Choice Awards 2013 - Arrivals

Tia and Tamera Mowry were there.

Singer Miley Cyrus attends the Teen Choice Awards 2013 at Gibson Amphitheatre on August 11, 2013 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Miley Cyrus, trying much too hard in Saint Laurent.

(All photos via Getty)