So said my sister this morning. Of course, having not read the books, the comment was lost on me. So she ran to the other room, grabbed the third book in the series, Fifty Shades of Freed, and explained it to me, or rather read it to me:

“She sounds like a rich kid who’s had all she ever wanted, but as I take a closer look at her clothes — she’s dressed in Walmart, or Old Navy possibly — I know that isn’t it. She hasn’t grown up in an affluent household.”

“As you can see,” said my sister, “Old Navy is the same as Walmart. No one shops at Walmart, especially for clothes. I mean, I was on the way out with Old Navy anyway because their products are crap, but this really made an impact on me.”

“I didn’t realize you had ever been in a Walmart,” I said.

“Once. But please don’t put that part in your post.”

“I also didn’t realize you were an avid Old Navy shopper. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore,” I said, ignoring her request.

“Occasionally, I’d pop in there for something cheap which I full expected to fall apart within a few weeks. They had some cute dresses when I was pregnant. But Christian Grey says…”


Christian Grey says, Christian Grey says… if only I had a penny for every time I heard that lately. But I guess that’s what the world is coming to: fictional characters are now dictating how and where people should shop.

For those of you who have read Fifty Shades of Grey, did that line resonate with you as well? Is it super snobby of me if I said I didn’t realize Walmart had a clothing section for adults? Will someone tell me when this fucking Fifty Shades of bullshit will come to an end? I can’t live this way anymore!