Love it or hate it, the annual juggernaut of feathers and sequins that is the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is almost upon us. I am firmly on the side of “love,” and like to take in the spectacle on the couch with my girlfriends, pizza, and beer. The Victoria’s Secret Fashion show is pure, unadulterated fantasy. It’s lingerie for women, made obvious by the ridiculous trains, crazy headpieces, and art piece shoes.
From the sparkly to the devilish, are 25 of the greatest looks in Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show History!
The Rocky Horror, 2007
A vaguely cannibalistic ensemble with more sequins than Dr. Frank-n-Furter. Wear this to your next Rocky Horror Picture Show watch party, and sing along as the disembodied mouth.
The Princess of Thieves, 2006
Disney’s Robin Hood is currently on Netflix streaming, reawakening the first sex dreams of millenials everywhere. Gisele’s Highland-inspired outfit has the same rakish charm.
The Showtime Tudor, 2005
If you get hot and bothered by period romances, this is the lingerie for you. Just imagine Jonathan Rhys Meyers getting all tangled up in that 7 foot velvet train. Hot.
The Slutty Scarlet O’Hara, 2008
The combo of see-through hoop skirt and exposed ankle would do the South’s original bad girl proud.
The Brazilian-ed Toucan, 2013
Hilary Rhoda is a classic beauty, and she is working those feathers. Of all the aviary-inspired outfits this year, sexy Toucan had the best shoes and the most impressive feathery arm gauntlets.
The Shrouded Vixen, 2013
Channel your inner Satanic priestess in this gauzy black ensemble.
The Tarzan-Meets-Barbarella, 2010
Leopard print is a VS classic, but it’s the silver breastplate bra that makes this getup over the top fierce.
The Abominable Snow Bunny, 2013
Did you know that polar bears were sexy? You do now.
The Big Budget Suicide Girl, 2012
Here, we win over alternative chicks with a Moulin Rouge worthy headdress and bustle. Liu Wen should make that mermaid thigh tattoo a reality, it works for her.
The Candy Stripper, 2012
Infantalizing be damned, this latex outfit is adorable and I want it.
The Pink-Splosion, 2008
This relatively gimmick-free look is what Vicky’s does best. Lace, maribou, thigh high stockings, and glittery heels. Minus the skirt, this is lingerie you can wear.
The Snowflake Serenade, 2007
Let’s all take a moment for the doomed romance of The Body and Seal. Love fades, but a prismatic Fembot bustier is forever.
The Mallrat, 2009
Year after year, the PINK collection proves that it’s cool to get weird if you’re not wearing pants.
The Naughty Alien, 2009
This is what fanboys hope to see at every Comic Con ever. The halo is a little Power Rangers villain-esque, but those shoes would totally make a New Year’s outfit.
The American Gladiator, 2010
In addition to the covetable gauntlets and what I’m sure is a real barbell, this portion of the show featured greased up male attendants.
The Farmer’s Daughter, 2010
Add some distressed cowboy boots, and I’m thisclose to wanting this gingham set for my everyday life.
The Empress, 2011
Who needs wings when you can be a human mosaic with a belly chain?
The Mermaid, 2011
2011 was a good year for the show. An ocean-inspired collection featured variations on sexy jellyfish and a sexy cephalopod, but this simple mermaid outfit takes the prize.
The Boyfriend-Stealing Firebird, 2013
Some of the newer Angels look like they could be your really, really, hot friend’s younger sister. Adriana Lima looks like she could rip your heart out and feed it to you. And in this outfit, you might let her.
The Naughty Doily, 2011
Cameos are a timeless, Victorian style, just like lacy black G-strings, Madonna gloves, and butterfly wings.
The Londoner, 2013
Kasia Struss’s outfit makes this list for the thigh high leather boots alone. The kitschy hat, MJ-worthy sequined blazer, and real-world wearable lingerie are just gravy.
The Comic Stripper, 2011
Basically a Marvel comic sprung to life. It was tough picking a favorite from the 2011 superhero series, but Anja Rubik’s thighs gave this one the edge.
The Human Icicle, 2013
Victoria’s Secret does variations on the winter wonderland theme every year, but this filigree corset is a work of art. In contrast to the show’s other looks, this piece is downright delicate and subtle.
The Debauched Gentleman, 2011
Two words; Stiletto spats. If more steampunk outfits looked like this, I might hit up a convention. If Victoria’s Secret doesn’t carry those high-waisted satin briefs, they should.
The Angel, 2013
Wings are the Victoria’s Secret trademark, and this pair is truly stunning. If you say you don’t want to try them on, you’re lying.
And there you have it! 25 of the greatest Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show looks ever.
Will you be watching tomorrow? Hate watching? Or avoiding the glitter extravaganza like the plague? The sparkle apocalypse is coming. It’s more fun to just let it happen.