tom ford class

“Whatever happened to class?” Tom Ford wants to know.

Tom Ford sat down for a surprisingly candid interview with the Telegraph before his Spring 2014 runway show this week, but instead of learning more about his process or plans for the future, we just came away with the impression that Tom Ford has the worst dinner parties ever. Seriously, he makes it sound like his life is just him and Gwyneth Paltrow sitting around a table and griping about how everyone else is just awful now.

Yes, Tom Ford — the man who invented the Gucci logo bikini wax, pulled fragrance strips out of a woman’s butt, and just generally never met a naked ass he didn’t want to pose next to — wants to know why y’all are so tacky and gross all the time.

“I’m very aware that when my friends and I sit around over dinner these days, the conversation invariably turns to how crass the world has become. Tweeting? It’s one of the silliest things ever.”

If you were invited to Tom Ford’s Algonquin Round Table, what are some of the other things you would talk about? Probably plastic surgery and the female body types Ford thinks you should want to have.

Oh my God, so many young girls now look like whores!” Ford says. Not that everyone shouldn’t want to be sexy. As Ford’s career has proved multiple times, Ford wants everything to be really, really overtly sexy. Everyone should want to be sexy, but they should only be the kind of sexy Tom Ford finds sexy.

“For the record, I like a natural body with a Seventies-shaped boob. I’m not a straight man, but how anyone can be turned on by something filled with saline solution is beyond me.

God, Tom Ford, just shut up about how everybody is doing sex wrong.

Like Gwyneth, Ford is obsessed with how much better London is than anyplace else. Get him going and he’ll happily expound on how much funnier and better educated the British are than. At least he has the sense to do it in British papers, but he gushes so much about how wonderful London is that the interviewer finally had to intervene and ask if he’d ever actually left his fancypants neighborhood and ridden the Tube.

“I probably should,” he admitted.

According to Ford, London “is one of the few cities where people still dress properly and fashion exists. Every day I see women who’ve thought about their outfits. They’ve picked out the bag, put on proper shoes. … Do you know how rare it is in parts of America to actually see ‘an outfit’? France? I don’t want to be anti-French but there isn’t a more unattractive group of people on the streets.”

He also wants us to know that he hates Instagram for being narcissistic, bloggers for not knowing enough about fashion, and Honey Boo Boo. He should know better than to step to Honey Boo Boo. I don’t like child beauty pageants either, but that sweet little girl is a treasure.

Via The Telegraph/Photo: WENN