Magazine-I-have-never-read Travel and Leisure named the 35 most stylish American cities. New York is sitting peacefully at the top, with Anchorage holding up the bottom.

Surprisingly, Charleston is #2. To discuss this (seemingly) completely random and arbitrary decision, I went to TheGloss’ own beauty expert Jennifer Wright, who has no real affiliation with the city of Charleston other than having visited a few times and who I’m pretty sure has been drunk for two hours.

Bark At The Moon: As you may know, Travel and Leisure named Charleston the second most stylish city in the country. Why did they do this?
AM Cocktails: Bribery!
Bark At The Moon: That’s a potential how, not so much a why.
AM Cocktails: Bribery because Charleston wants to be famous. Famous for something other than delicious BBQ.
AM Cocktails: Which is dumb.
Bark At The Moon: Why does Charleston want to be famous? I thought they had a cool under-the-radar thing going for them anyway.
AM Cocktails: You know what is delicious? Peanut butter pie with a chocolate oreo crust which they have all the time in Charleston.
AM Cocktails: Wait. You thought Charleston was cool?
Bark At The Moon: Maybe I’m thinking of another city. Am I?
AM Cocktails: I think of Charleston as being a place where there are a lot of antique shops. It feels sort of like you’re in a very genteel lady’s sitting room, all the time. Wandering through different sitting rooms, the whole city.
AM Cocktails: Doilies.
AM Cocktails: People saying “here, chil’, have some ice tea, sugar blossom.”
AM Cocktails: If people said that in New York – say, on the subway – there’d be a fight over who got to keep their head as a trophy
Bark At The Moon: Oh come on. New York is really friendly. Especially to eccentrics.
Bark At The Moon: Stop lying.
AM Cocktails: I was lying. But you don’t want more people moving here.
AM Cocktails: Especially people who are always trying to give you iced tea on the subway.
Bark At The Moon: I like the free tea people.
Bark At The Moon: They can stay.
AM Cocktails: Okay.
Bark At The Moon: So, Charleston is pretty stylish and there aren’t enough people handing out free tea on the lawless subways of New York City.
Bark At The Moon: Got anything else?
Bark At The Moon: Liar?
AM Cocktails: Well, the only designer store I’ve ever seen in Charleston is Cynthia Rowley. Every time I go visit my family there, my mom says “want to go shopping?” and I say “yes.”
AM Cocktails: Then we go to Cynthia Rowley
AM Cocktails: It’s over in 20 minutes. And then we just sit drinking iced tea FOR HOURS.
Bark At The Moon: That sounds really stressful.
AM Cocktails: Sometimes we just stare at the bag where I’ve bought, I don’t know, sequined dress shorts, and with our eyes we say “I wish there were more stores here.”
AM Cocktails: But we don’t say it aloud. We just drink the free tea and accept the world.
AM Cocktails: However, when I have gotten something from other stores there – K. Morgan! I have a great sweater from K. Morgan! – they sent a thank you note.
Bark At The Moon: That’s pretty civil.
AM Cocktails: When was the last time you got a thank you note FOR ANYTHING?
Bark At The Moon: I was raised by wolves, so that’s a pretty insensitive question.
AM Cocktails: Where did the wolf people rank on the survey? Like, 10th?
Bark At The Moon: This conversation is over.
Bark At The Moon: I haven’t learned anything.
AM Cocktails: You got to bring up your heritage, though.
AM Cocktails: That’s nice.
AM Cocktails: I’ll send a thank you note to your wolf parents, but they won’t be able to read it.
Bark At The Moon: We’re not friends anymore.
Bark At The Moon: Also
Bark At The Moon: You dress like you’re from Anchorage.
AM Cocktails: Why do you spend all day making me cry?
Bark At The Moon: Why do you make me ashamed of who i am?
AM Cocktails: I hope people spill iced tea all over you.
Bark At The Moon: I hope you sober up and realize I have a beating human heart. With feelings.
AM Cocktails: I’m just going to sit here making little howling noises so you feel at home.
AM Cocktails: And honestly Ashley. It’s 1:00 in the afternoon. Who is sober at 1:00 in the afternoon?
AM Cocktails: No one.
AM Cocktails: Maybe prohibition agents. I don’t know.