ugly bag

The world’s ugliest purse was auctioned off for a cool $125,000, shocking literally every person with eyes and a modicum of taste. The bag is actually one of the most heinous that I’ve ever had the displeasure of laying my now-scarred eyes upon.

The Hermes ‘Geranium Porosus’ bag is a one-of-a-kind monstrosity, “made of matte crocodile and Togo leather and featuring built-in feet.” Yeah, built-in feet. I’ve always struggled with my various handbags that have inexplicably come without feet, so that feature alone is worth a solid $20,000.

To be fair, the crazy $125,000 price tag shocked everyone and not just me–the bag would have retailed for about $60,000 and was expected to be sold for only $50,000 at the auction. Even they knew it was so ugly it wasn’t supposed to meet its retail price!

But back to the bag. Why does it have an extra foot? Would four of those turgid suckers really not suffice? Joanna was reminded of The Gromble from Ahh Real Monsters, which is spot on.the gromble

The bag looks like it might come to life at any moment and shuffle its way around, killing everyone in its wake. I know it has a personality, and its just lying there, dormant, waiting until the poor shmuck who shelled out a eighth of a million dollars lets his guard down. Then it’ll scurry of its pedestal in what must be the most tastelessly decorated home in America and into the master bedroom where it will kill its owner without mercy. This guy basically took out a $125,000 hit on himself. It’s the absolutely ugliest way to die. There’s just no dignity there.

Photo: Hermes, Ahh Real Monsters