Apparently, famous people looking to accessorize are now turning their mightily coiffed heads towards velvet chokers. I don’t know about you, but viewing pictures such as those featured above makes me feel as if I’m being transported directly back in time to 1992, Adam Greenberg’s Bar Mitzvah, Temple Beth Shalom.

And as uncomfortable as a virtual return to middle school is, what’s worse is that I have the distinct sensation that that’s how I’m supposed to feel…because these necklaces are straight ’90s retro.

So, I have this to say about the whole thing: I don’t mind the Chloë Moretzes and, say, the Kiernan Shipkas of the world wearing these. The necklaces are pretty cute, and they are a nice departure, I guess, from standard-issue gold and gemstones. But they’re really only a departure if you were a baby (or just a sperm!) in the 1990s. And so, Salma Hayek? Emmy Rossum? You should know better.

Photos by Everett, WireImage, Splash News Online via People