You guys are freaks.

Look, my earliest experience of this whole issue was ballet class when I was about 8. If you wore underwear under your tights there was a chance that it would peek out under your leotard as you were plie-ing, and then you’d be flashing your rainbow colored underwear to the entire class. And then all the other girls would gather like some horrible tutu clad wolf pack, taunting and laughing.

Black Swan stuff didn’t only happen to Natalie Portman, that is all I’m saying.

It actually didn’t happen to me, either. I got to be part of the tutued wolfpack. Why? Because I realized you did not wear underwear under tights. What can I say? It was pretty much the only time I avoided being hilariously uncool through wiliness and observational skills.

I mean, until right now. Thanks, assholes.

People are wearing underwear under their tights? Really? Doesn’t that seem to defeat the point? Or, not defeat it, but seem excessive? I mean, the whole point of underwear is to provide a barrier between your nether regions and your clothing. Tights do that. So, presumably, you’re covered, right? And you wash them afterwards, so they’re clean. Wearing underwear under tights seems like wearing two pairs of underwear at once. I don’t get it. BECAUSE IT MAKES NO SENSE.

In conclusion, you’re destroying everything I know about the universe. Please explain the underwear under tights logic.