I know what you’re thinking: my favorite thing is when people tell me to calm down, nag me about taking better care of myself, and make a lot of unsolicited comments about my body. What can I do to make that happen more often? Luckily, they’ve found a modern-day solution to that age-old conundrum. Now there’s a hundred-dollar shirt that can monitor your breathing, heart rate, and metabolism! And it can’t wait to give you life advice!
How does it work? According to the NY Times, it’s all in the magic fabric:
Most smart textile products use conductive yarns that can transmit electrical signals. The sensors woven into these materials are either so small you can’t see them or so flexible you don’t notice them. While many of these garments require a battery pack of sorts, some are experimenting with applications in which a smartphone can transmit power and Internet access to sensors and screens that are attached to the clothing.
So it can nag me about my subpar resting heart rate… but it can’t turn me into a wifi hotspot? Hmm. Pass.
Even though this one seems to suck, I always appreciate hearing about new wearable technology— not because I have any intention of ever buying it, but because I get to feel like we’re living in the future. We don’t have conveyer belt sidewalks or jetpacks, but at least there’s a dress that keeps strange men from standing too close to you in public. If a talking t-shirt is the closest we can get to feeling like droid creatures, I’m okay with it. I’ll just admire it from afar and continue buying workout clothes that mind their own business.