Spurred on by their hatred of all things fabulous, the Westboro Baptist Church has announced it plans to protest Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week today. They were already in New York, you see, to remind us all that we caused 9/11 with our sins, so the scheduling worked out really well for them.

“The whole thing is vanity,” mouthpiece Steve Drain told The New York Post. Yes, and? “You’re going to teach the women, especially the young women of this country, to doll themselves up…” Who doesn’t love gettin’ dolled up? “All you are doing is teaching girls to be proud whores!” Oh. Well then.

“The whole idea [of the] fashion industry is to make women look as whorish as possible and men look as effeminate at possible,” he continued, semi-correctly. “Put some jeans on and fear God. Forget about all this fashion nonsense.”

Oh, honey. You don’t need to tell us you hate fashion. Your people have clearly been protesting it for years, what with your out-of-season windbreakers and boxy t-shirts. Not to mention those garish signs. There’s more than one kind of typeface, you know.

The correct response to all of this, of course, is to either ignore them or shower them with condoms, lube, and copies of Butt Magazine, but leave it to some fashion person to attempt to argue with the “we picket soldiers’ funerals because God hates the Jews” people on their terms. “It’s not about making women look like whores,” fashion journo Leodee Dawson told The Post. This is all high-end couture. How can Fashion Week make women look like sluts and whores? The shows I’ve seen are actually very conservative. The women were very covered.”

Did The Post invent this Leodee person to try to make fashion people look daft? Because this reminds me of the time someone called my non-Jewish friend a “fucking kike.” Did he respond with “Oh, I believe this is all a misunderstanding, you see, I’m not one of those people“? No, he told him to go fuck himself, as well he should have.

Anyway, the Westboro people are coming. They are here already, maybe. I suggest you all march down to Lincoln Center right this instant and be super gay at them. I will update you if any interesting reports surface.