You know that obnoxious “Stars: They’re Just Like Us!” page of every celebrity weekly? We saw one the other day that featured Kelly Rutherford from Gossip Girl, and she was pumping gas or feeding the meter or some shit under that very headline… only she was toting a $10,000 Hermès Birkin. Now, we can think of at least one way Rutherford isn’t just like us: we’re not stupid enough to spend $10k on a goddamn status billboard that carries tampons*. Look, we work in fashion, we see frivolity and conspicuous consumption everyday… and now we’re making fun of it! With crude drawings! Here are some assumptions we make about ladies with specific designer purses–YSL, Louis Vuitton, Balenciaga, Alexander Wang and more ahead.


*I’d spend it all on a marble bathtub filled with those chocolate dinosaur eggs. You know the ones? With the gummy dinosaur inside? Those are fucking incredible.