Given that Sarah Jessica Parker is twisting and twirling all over Vogue this month, someone must like her. And by someone, I mean fashionable girls who love high heels, which comprises pretty much everyone at Vogue. However, that “someone” never seems to be men, and I’m convinced that has a lot to do with SJP’s relationship to clothing.
To be fair – people don’t really tend to hate Sarah Jessica Parker most of the time, they really hate or love Carrie Bradshaw. Because beyond that, we’d just be hating on her character in Did You Hear About the Morgans and Failure to Launch and, well, too easy.
Given that I have plenty of male friends who have a crush on Maureen Dowd or Michelle Obama, I don’t think this is just a case of “OMG Carrie Bradshaw is a strong woman and men can’t HANDLE that!” But then, look, I watch the show mostly for Charlotte, because, um, she seems nice. Carrie always struck me as a bit of a neurotic who, as one of my male friends credited for his visceral hated of her, “spent $40,000 on fucking shoes.”
I definitely don’t think that there’s anything wrong with the fact that Carrie Bradshaw loved fashion. And I think it’s great that she dressed for herself rather than for men. But I do kind of get where men are coming from, at least insofar as she seemed to prioritize fashion over her relationships and being a sane human being.
And look, it wasn’t just the $40,000 shoe debt that Charlotte was expected to give Carrie her wedding ring to pay off (have I mentioned I liked Charlotte best?) Remember the episode where Aiden needed some closet room and Carrie was all “no, I will not get rid of this hideous Cavalli sweater-thing I’ve never worn?” Or when The Russian was sitting reading her poetry and she grabs a picture of an Oscar de la Renta dress and says “that’s poetry for me!” Or when she just can’t stop berating Berger about having his female character wear a scrunchie? Or, for that matter, when she expects Berger to start wearing Prada despite being a writer living in New York? Or when she very nearly dumps Berger for not liking her hat? Or when she scraps the whole idea of her and Big having the quiet, tasteful wedding they’d agreed upon because Vivienne Westwood gave her a killer dress?
Though perhaps the most ridiculous moment in the entire movie is when, after Big left her, she bemoans the fact that “I put a bird in my hair for him.” No. No, you did not do it for him unless he had a bizarre fowl fetish. And the fact that, in Carrie Bradshaw’s head, that counted as doing something for someone else makes it seem like she does not understand what doing something for someone else entails. Hope may be a thing with feathers that nestles in your updo, but selflessness is not.
Now you can just say “oh, that’s seriously just Carrie Bradshaw, it’s not SJP, men hate SJP because she has a horsy face.” First of all, men like plenty of jolie laide types (see Anjelica Huston and Sofia Coppola), and second, that attitude seems to carry into every movie she’s in. First Wives Club? She’s informing her beaten down boyfriend that she needs every designer dress in an enormous pile. Did You Hear About the Morgan’s? SJP packs only lingerie and ball gowns for her trip with the witness protection program. And every article written about her pretty much focuses upon how she is devoting 42 hours a day to fashion lines.
Dude, I love fashion. I love weird, eccentric fashion. I would happily wear a tutu under the right circumstances. But there’s loving fashion and then there’s loving fashion in a way that makes you act like an idiot. And SJP seems to cross that line in every role she’s in. And sure, women – and by women I mean writers at Vogue – understand how loving fashion that much can take you to that crazy place. And maybe we feel better when we see a character who goes to the crazy place for us. But men? Men would probably rather you just buy some shoes you can afford and not go insane about it.
So that’s one theory on why men don’t much like Sarah Jessica Parker. That, and she does have a bit of a horsy face.