After a nice dinner, or a night out at a bar, all I want to do is come home and get the fuck out of my skinny jeans. Seriously, I can’t get out of them fast enough — many has been the night that I have taken them off immediately upon walking in the door (I’m a rebel!).

And I know I’m not alone — skinny jeans, friends, were never intended to be left on the body, constricting the diaphragm, squashing the stomach, asphyxiating the spleen, for more than a few hours. So why do we put up with them? Here are a few reasons:

  1. You can wear them with boots, and you don’t have to shave your legs.
  2. Your other jeans haven’t been washed for a month are in the laundry.
  3. You’re a masochist.
  4. Honestly? Even though jeans are supposed to be really comfortable, very few of them are. So it’s not like if you swapped out your skinny jeans for your high-waisteds or your low-riders, you’d be in much better shape.

I know some of you will say that you’ve said “go fuck yourself” to the trend of skinny jeans, and I salute you for that. And if you know of a pair of jeans that act as jeans are supposed to act — with comfort, forgiveness and yes, trust — please let me know.