We used to do a feature called (Nicolas) Cage Match here–in which we took two famous women who’d worn the same dress to an event and faced them off against a random Nic Cage character.

We did it because 1) we liked being irreverent as possible when needlessly pitting women against each other and also 2) what didn’t you understand about Nicolas Cage? We dropped the feature because too many people wrote in asking, “Why is Nic Cage in this?” and “This makes no sense,” as opposed to, “Thank you for that extra lightning bolt of Nic Cage today, you really brightened my morning.” Our point is, people are dumb. They are dumb ingrates.

Still, we’ve we’ve never been a huge fan of Who Wore It Better?-style posts because… because they’re not very interesting. And they’re silly.

But since we never get to see a Who Wore It Better? with dudes, we couldn’t resist:

Yes, Will Arnett and Ryan Seacrest made an unlikely pair in matching Calvin Klein last night at the 2013 Emmy Awards.

But the important question is: who wins this brutal dude-on-due edition of Who Wore It Better? And would it change anything if we added, say, Con Air-era Nic Cage to the fray? No? We’re the only ones into that?

What’s wrong with you people?