Just the way Jennifer Thomas did! The 27-year-old Florida escort bludgeoned a hotel valet with the heel of her shoe and managed to lodge its stiletto in his skull. It’s okay – he’s fine now. But it sounds like a truly bizarre escapade. According to the Scottsdale Police via The Smoking Gun:
The unprovoked assault apparently was triggered after Thomas–who was wearing a miniskirt and had been drinking in the upscale hotel’s bar–asked the valet to call her a cab. When a “standard Yellow Cab” arrived, Thomas became irate, saying, “I’m not fucking getting into that. Who do you think I am?” She added that hotel employees “should know I need a sedan.” After a second vehicle was summoned–this time a Lincoln Town Car–Thomas removed a shoe and, “without prompt,” took a “violent swing” at the valet. Though the man slipped the first blow, “before he could react again the woman used the same heel, held in her right hand, and hit him on the left side of the head.” Directing the Lincoln’s driver to “go, go, go!!!”
Obviously, this would be a more uplifting story had it run “someone tried to mug a woman and she beat him off with her shoe” instead of “a woman beat up a man for calling her an insufficiently nice town car.” Still, we appreciate anyone who knows how to turn her accessories into weapons. Sort of like Wonder Woman. But very, very different.