Dear Adidas,

I respect what you’re trying to do. Making stilettos comfortable is a great idea! Making “the world’s most comfortable stilettos” is an even better idea. It’s one that lots of designers – like Manolo Blahnik – spend a lot of time on. And, hey, there’s no reason you should branch out to a different kind of footwear. However, I regret to inform you that in your quest to make a comfortable pair of heels, you have created the ugliest shoes in the entire world.

I don’t understand how this happened. I mean, you partnered with Yohji Yamamoto. And yet, you ended up with a pair of shoes whose only market is those red hat ladies who go around talking about how they are old, and they wear purple. The rest of the world knows that purple and red is possibly the world’s most unappealing color scheme. You can tell by the way nobody ever pairs those colors together unless they’re trying to be old and kooky.

You know what else people don’t wear? Boots made of mesh. That’s because while I guess those boots allow your feet to breath they will be stupid when it’s cold out, because they’re made of mesh, and stupid when it’s warm out, because they’re boots. There is no temperature for these boots.

Also, nobody wants a number stamped across the front of their high heeled boots made of mesh, if they wanted those to begin with. I am sorry, Adidas. Please set these on fire and try again.


Shoe Designers of America