I love Valentine’s Day. Love it (but there’ll more on the subject tomorrow). That said, I am kind of still stuck in the third grade when it comes to V’day style: I still wear those cutesy printed knee-high socks with chocolate and wings and conversation candy all over them. I enjoy my frilly pink and red accessories with little lace and ribbon bows. I goddamn love shirts with hearts on them. Yes, I am basically a 12 year old in a foul-mouthed, 5’7″ adult’s body (like Big!) who wears the worst Valentines Day looks, but I am attempting to learn how to achieve the whole “sexy date” vibe when it comes to these types of evenings.

I started looking for inspiration on the runway. Why not? After all, that’s where all the amorous and gorgeous and fun fashions start, right? I’m fairly inept when it comes to fashion (again: knee-high heart socks), so I just assumed that Fashion Week might just hold those beautiful, romantic looks I’ve been searching for all this time.

Sadly, I was mistaken. The runways are cray. They’re amazing and interesting, no doubt, but totally cray. Definitely not practical for a Valentine’s Day date night, so I think I’m just gonna stick to my weird little socks and shirts, just attempting to give off the vibe that I’m actually wearing this. The following looks are perfect if you want to look kind of insane, impractical or as though you are blind and need a cat to see. Enjoy!