Who cares about those lame sweaters that were two sizes too big? The fat name has returned to the North Pole and now it’s time to prepare for the biggest party day of the year. This year, instead of battling the barrage of amateurs who only go out to the bars twice a year, you’ve decided to invite some of your closest random acquaintances over to your place for a Ball Dropping Bash. (By the way, you really should have had someone look over those invitations. They might have convinced you to reconsider the title.)  There’s only one small problem. Bars are nice because they have all kinds of booze just sitting there, ready to be consumed. Your house has a couple bottles of Pinot and a six pack that your guy friend left over there two years ago. FYI, beer doesn’t actually age like wine. That shit is skunked.

So we’re here to help with some great cocktail recipes for your New Years celebration. Buy a couple cases of domestic beer and have some of these drinks whipped up in advance and you’ll be ready to ring in the New Year the way god intended. Completely sloshed.

Oh, and I would’ve given you actual pictures of the drinks, but who needs to stare at pictures of alcohol. The stuff is for drinking. Instead, I’ve given you some fun vintage liquor ads to scroll through. By the way, as sexist as vintage ads are, the alcohol industry might be one of the few industries to get more and more stereotypically offensive as time has gone on. My hats off to you Budweiser and Miller Lite. It’s quite an accomplishment.