Since the offices for The Gloss are located in Manhattan and I’m from Buffalo, I am currently living in temporary summer housing while I intern with Lilit and Jennifer. I was so excited to move in and live with a friend from college, who was scheduled to join me two weeks later. Upon my arrival, I was given my key and an exciting welcome packet to NYC.

I opened the door and was rather confused as I noticed that people were living in my apartment. There was food in the refrigerator, clothes in the closet, a stack of DVDs next to the television, and toiletries in the bathroom. I felt like an intruder and returned back to the housing office to clear up this mess.

But this was no accident. I had been assigned to live with two strangers and there was nothing I could do about it. The first week or so was a little awkward. I felt like I was living in someone else’s apartment. My two new roommates are best friends from school and they had been living in the apartment for a few weeks before I had arrived. I was, and definitely still am, the third wheel.

But I’m over it. Generally, they’re pretty nice. We make small talk about our internships and television shows. I’ve learned that one of them has a pet snake named Fluffy, which is cute I guess. Luckily, Fluffy wasn’t invited to stay with us this summer.

While these girls are likable, they do some things that make me want to rip their heads off. For example, they buy the most expensive toilet paper. Sure, I like the fluffy stuff too, but not when I’m living on a strict budget and don’t have a paying job for the summer. Toilet paper aside, my roommate’s boyfriend spent 6 consecutive nights in our one- bedroom apartment. Six. I felt a little weird being there, but I didn’t have anywhere else to spend the night. I’m pretty sure they had sex on my bed, as I suspiciously found her t-shirt under my comforter.

With all of this anger welling up inside me, I began to think of people I’d rather be roommates with.

  • Betsey Johnson: We could stay up late and chat about ruffles and lace. She would help me perfect my cartwheels.
  • Michelle Obama: Who wouldn’t want to live in the White House? I hear the kitchen staff will cook up anything your heart desires. Plus, she’s super classy and a world leader.
  • The Inventor of Cupcakes: The most delectable food creation. Ever.
  • Post- Boarding School Serena van der Woodsen: She came back a changed woman and has fabulous clothes. She also lives in an awesome apartment on the Upper East Side.
  • Marc Jacobs: He’s magic and I could score free stuff. Are there any better reasons?