In the past, we’ve tutored you on how to not be bridezilla and also how to be a good bridesmaid. But we’ve never taught you the most important thing, since it’s the role you’ll be playing at weddings most frequently — how to be a good guest!

Here are a few tips:

  1. Dance, bitch. Don’t be that person who sits miserably at the table and refuses to dance. Get up. Dance. Be merry, goddammit.
  2. Only get on your iPhone or Blackberry if you need to. Who’s emailing you at 8:30 on a Saturday night? No one.
  3. Make an effort to talk to the people at your table. You might not love the people at your table, but you’re a big girl — you can muster some small talk.
  4. Go ahead and get drunk. Weddings are one of the few remaining places besides bars where it’s perfectly acceptable to get drunk and act like an idiot, have random sex with strangers (back in your hotel room…please) and make a fool of yourself. Unless you do something really horrific, like cry very oudly, or grab the mic at the wrong time, or try to seduce someone’s husband, I assure you that it will all be forgotten down the well of wedding shenanigans before even a week has gone by.
  5. Per #4, don’t try to seduce someone’s husband or wife. Weddings are about the sanctity of marriage. That should be enough to explain why this is a bad idea.