Many of you have no doubt already gone out and purchased your new iPhone 5. You’re probably playing with it even as we speak, some of you having shelled out upwards of $600 for the privilege.

And  I’m not judging! I think you should have that phone, because you deserve it. But I have to draw the line in saying that it’s a wise move for anybody at all to purchase a gold-plated iPhone 5, however, that has not stopped a company in England from making one (why don’t people CALL ME before making decisions like this?!).

Gold & Co. of London will soon release their 24-carat plated phone, on sale at the Collector’s Palace in Dubai Mall in the United Arab Emirates. And while you might be tempted to shell out the thousands of dollars that it will probably cost in order to be the only person in your social circle to be in possession of such a thing, allow me to try to to persuade you otherwise.

First of all, you’ll look like a douchebag. Why? Because having a gold-plated phone is kind of like waving a stack of hundreds around in the air. And no one (well…most people) don’t like ostentatious displays of wealth. Second of all, you’ll be much more likely to get robbed. Let’s be real; people are already stealing iPhones at an alarming rate. You don’t need to give woud-be robbers another reason to snatch your primary mode of communication straight from the palm of your hand. Third of all, honestly, it’s not even that cute. Go get yourself a nice, colorful iPhone cover from the Apple store, or from Etsy or something, and be done with it. That gold is tacky. You’re better than that.