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Is it possible to make wearing blue mascara and red lipstick at the same time look good? This could easily be the shortest post I’ve ever written: No.

OK, I still have to finish writing this story, so here is some background as to why I thought combining blue mascara and red lipstick was a good idea: Back in June I got carried away at a Benefit store and purchased a tube of electric blue mascara. I love bright, weird colors. I hate that “natural” look. So I bought the stuff and paid $24 for it. I actually really liked it, but I literally have not worn the stuff since I posted that review.

For a while now I’ve been worrying about my financially irresponsible habit of impulse designer makeup purchases that I adore, but then never actually wear. (I really do that a lot. It is worrying.) I loved the blue mascara but never wore it. If I’m wearing makeup, I’m usually going for a red lip, so I didn’t see when I actually would wear the blue mascara again.

“Maybe they would work well together?” suggested the little devil that lives on my shoulder and whispers bad ideas into my ear.

“Maybe they would!” agreed the little angel that lives on my other shoulder. She means well, but she has really bad taste.

So I tried out the blue mascara with my latest ill-advised designer makeup purchase, the Guerlain Rouge G lipstick in Garconne, which is a beautiful lipstick but costs $54 to see if I could get my money’s worth.

Here is me wearing $78 worth of impulse cosmetic purchases on my face:

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Does that look good? Not really. Does it look $78 good? No way. Lest you think it is merely a failure because it does not blend with my nonchalant athleisure clothes and “effortless” messy hair, here’s what it looks like when I try a model pose with the same look:

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Nope. Still looks weird.

Blue mascara is great. Red lipstick is great. But these are not a peanut-butter-and-chcolate combination where two great things are even better together. This is more like a ramen and chocolate situation, where two great things are at best awful together.

Brown mascara, black mascara, even purple mascara look great with red lipstick. Blue mascara? Maybe someone with a defter hand than I can pull it off, but it looks like I’ll be stowing my tube until summer.

(Photos: Elizabeth Licata/The Gloss)