Desperate Housewives “Marry Me a Little”
Air Date: May 10, 2009

I may or may not have tricked Neighbor Peggy away from grading papers by saying that tonight was the season finale. At the last minute, I set the record straight, but it was too late. She was already in my apartment. On we go with the show! (Did that rhyme? …nevermind, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES IS STARTING!)

9:01: First thought: Isn’t that an awful lot of scotch that Bree just poured for Karl?
9:02: I’m totally loving this Dick Tracy-like meeting between the two of them. Did Karl just call Bree “Freckles”?? Are we watching “Lost,” or “Desperate Housewives”?
9:03: Karl’s painting this horrible fantasy to Bree about a 20-something replacing her. I love that he knows just what to do to press the buttons of EVERY woman on this show. I love Karl. I’m just going to say it. I don’t love him as a human, of course, but as a character? Can’t get enough
9:04: Is…uh….is Crazy Dave’s collar popped??
9:06: Juanita’s really working the “I can be just as bratty as mommy” angle, isn’t she? She has also become a pretty good little actress this season, though.
9:08: So we’re still seeing The Return of Jackson: the Unlikable Version. Like reader Jamie pointed it, this probably means that he’s an expendable character.
9:09: Lynette and Tom are talking about Twitter. Is this “Desperate Housewives'” attempt to be with it and cool with what all the kids are up to these days? And Tom’s going on about how he went into an interview and was 10 years older than everyone else. This is EXACTLY what happened when Lynette tried to go back to work. Why are we reusing all these story lines? (Susan was faked-married to Karl to get health insurance, too, remember?)

9:10: Peggy’s not thrilled that Lynette’s not being nice to Tom through his crisis. “She’s being remarkably unhelpful for Lynette.”
9:12: Mike’s reaction about the fast marriage is pretty fantastic. Mike and Susan WILL get back together before the end of the season. I’m calling it right now. I don’t know if they’ll get GET back together, but there’s definitely a smooch coming at the very least.
9:17: Are we being set up to watch a Gaby and Carlos re-poorening, too? Whoa, commercial break — really abrupt, almost cutting the scene short, wasn’t it?
9:23: Bree is by faarrrr the prettiest thief EVER.
9:25: Peggy’s agreeing with me about the sexual tension between Karl and Bree.
9:27: Man, I’m not loving Jackson at ALL right now. Hey, SelfishPants Mcgee.
9:28: Lynette’s so right about Tom looking better as he ages.
9:29: “Orson we’ve been ROBBED!” – Bree. “It wasn’t me. I swear.” – Orson. YES!! HAHA!
9:34: I’m watching this scene between Gaby and Fran, and screaming “It’s the shopping! That’s why she’s there!”
9:36: Ooohh, oh! Mike’s looking longingly. And asking Katherine stupid questions about dates. Proposal coming??
9:37: He’s going to break her heart.
9:38: There’s some fond recollecting going on here with Bree and Orson. No divorce after all?
9:39: Does Katherine really believe that Mike’s only proposing to her because Susan and Jackson are getting married?
9:41: Aight, so what’s Dave going to do with the information that Jackson’s at risk of being deported?
9:46: Oh man. Karl’s going to read Bree’s mind about her divorce cold feet. I’m so excited for this. That was …. not what I was expecting. Karl’s being compassionate?
9:47: Amy’s new wish for the series: KARL AND BREE PLEASE MAKE OUT OMG. PLEASE.
9:48: “I’m dying for you to meet Bruce.” -Lynette, who’s bringing over Botch Nips/Tucks Bruce over for dinner. I’m dying to meet him, too.
9:49: Does the guy playing Bruce actually exist? And his face? Does that actually exist, too? Eek.9:50: Lynette and Tom both are beautiful and have aged insanely well. I want to look like they do. And I want to be in a relationship like theirs, too. That is all.
9:52: Gauaranteed Katherine just sent that text to Susan’s phone.
9:53: Yep. “So she’s just going to secretly pay Susan’s alimony??” — Peggy
9:57: Jackson’s becoming a little bit more likable. Maybe this means he’ll live?
9:58: Smiling Crazy Dave in the background = cause of Jackson being taken away in the foreground… I believe that answers my question re: 9:41.
9:59: YES. The storage company Bree’s using just called Orson. This is going to be GREAT.
10:00: I think Mary Alice just told us that Mike still loves Susan! Thank you, Mary Alice!
10:01: AAHHHH!!! The preview for next week! Dave said he had to kill M.J. (which probably means that he didn’t really do it). Carlos “takes in” a hot teenager (John Rowland, anyone?). Lynette has cancer. Orson would put Bree in jail. Oh. My. God. Why do I have to wait a week for the season finale?????