Like every year, the cast of a popular Broadway musical performed during the Macy’s Day Parade. Like every year, flamboyant men in elaborate costumes lipsynced and danced and wore high heels. What was so different about it this time? Well, it was the cast of Kinky Boots— a musical about drag queens.
Despite the fact that the performance was totally PG (Matt Lauer even introduced the main character as a “cabaret performer”) and less sexual than even, like, The Lion King, it was apparently more than America could handle. MEN were wearing SHOES that are usually worn by WOMEN! How could we possibly explain to our kids that not everybody fits into incredibly rigid gender boundaries?? Do you expect us to teach schoolchildren that you need to respect people who are different from you???
Naturally, the angered masses took to Twitter to unleash their hatred into the void. Twitchy Entertainment captured some of the best (read: most horrendous) tweets from people who suck. One woman claims she’s “emotionally scarred” from the performance, while several others threw around the delightful “tr****” word. My favorite complaint came from a woman with Kentucky fried hair and an affinity for unnecessary hashtags, who interpreted the theme of the parade as “be gay or die.”
That makes sense, since the drag queens were wielding guns and threatening straight people with their homo venom! Oh, they weren’t? They were just singing and dancing? Okay.
The thing is, I would understand the criticism if the performance were overtly sexual. Or even if it featured extraordinarily revealing costumes or used sexy innuendos. But we’re talking about a totally tame, totally child-friendly group of people doing a cheesy Broadway dance… just in thigh-high boots. What do you think’s hurting your children more– seeing a man in a long wig, or hearing that you, their parents, hate anyone who’s a little different?
I learned a lot about the world on this Thanksgiving day. I learned that discount shoe stores open at 5pm on Thursday for Black Friday sales. I learned that I don’t want to talk about politics with my brother-in-law after four glasses of wine. I learned that some Americans are ignorant assholes. Now bring me a pair of kinky boots and another piece of pie.