Esquire recently asked its readers a bunch of questions about drinking. The results will not really surprise you all that much, but they will give you good stuff to throw in your boyfriend’s face the next time he comes home plastered.

  • When asked “drink chardonnay or get beat up,” 49 percent chose being beaten up.
  • 20 percent of dudes say they get “flirtatious” after three drinks. 2 percent are honest enough to admit that they just get more annoying.
  • Bill Clinton is the current or former president that Esquire readers would most like to get drunk with.
  • 42 percent of respondents would like to have a drink with Tina Fey. Jennifer Aniston came in second with 21 percent. Heidi Montag wasn’t even on the list.
  • When asked which country’s residents they’d most like to drink with, the majority said Ireland. Try to act surprised.
  • Is alcohol the cause of or solution to all of life’s problems? 71 percent say solution, and they also obviously want to hang out with me more often.