Recently, the five boroughs were gripped by terror when word spread that an Egyptian cobra had escaped from the Bronx Zoo. Apparently, the cobra was just hanging out in the snake house, trying to get some R&R because the other snakes were being dicks or something and not really causing any harm, but maybe I’m wrong because I kind of checked out after a few days and stopped caring (it’s worth noting, however, that ‘Egyptian cobra’ is probably #1 on my list of Animals I Wish Would Live In Enduring, Uneventful Captivity at the Bronx Zoo).

Anyway, turns out that a peacock just escaped and I figure if this is to be a trend, I should put together a list of animals I’m most looking forward to see escape this summer.

(Ed. Note: I don’t know if the Bronx Zoo has any of the following animals; I’m sure if it does I will read about them in the newspaper shortly).