lacmaI moved to New York about nine months ago, and most of the time I love it. I am so happy to have moved and feel like this is the exact place where I’m supposed to be. But out of nowhere, I’ve gotten hit with a giant wave of homesickness, leaving me feeling a bit like I’m at loose ends.

I’m far away from home. I’m from Santa Monica, a small city on the most coastal side of Los Angeles. California is this extremely special place–talk to anyone from there and they’ll get this distant, dreamy look in their eyes until you want to slap them. LA is one of my favorite cities and it drives me up a wall when people say stupid shit about it, especially given the fact that most people who talk shit about LA have never been there.

santa monica pier

I first left home in 2007 to go to college in Boston, and it took me about a week before I realized that Boston was not for me. I stuck it out for four years, with a countdown on my fridge. I even stayed in Boston over most summers–my friends were there, I took classes and worked, and it was expensive as hell to fly back and forth. I missed LA a ton, but it wasn’t until my senior year that I experienced real homesickness. I always chalked the feeling up to hating where I was, but here I am, in love with New York City, and I’m feeling it again.

Homesickness is a strange feeling, and there is a physical component. It’s not quite like depression or anxiety–it’s this oddly specific gnawing in my stomach and chest. It’s almost like I can feel this weird pull to go west, as silly as that sounds. It’s funny that it’s not really about the people, since the ones I miss most visit often. It’s really about the place.

I won’t be going home for a while–by my next visit to LA, it will have been over a year since I left. Currently, I’m eating avocados and listening to the following remarkable playlist on repeat:

california

I’ve also been googling pictures of my favorite eating establishments, but that has been making me emotional. I’m about ready to kick this feeling.

So, where are you all from? Do you ever get homesick? And please, for the love of all that’s good in the world (a Bay Cities sandwich), tell me how you all pull yourselves out of this mopey crap storm.

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