We’re figuring Edward Cullen is a little bored of Bella, even if he would never admit it. She’s so moody all of the time, she can’t make up her mind between Edward and what’s-his-face, and she probably grosses him out when she blows her nose and stuff. We think he could probably use a cold, stoic, glittery vampire woman for a little rejuvenation. While we’re not ready to commit to being a vampire long-term, we’re thinking we could fake it long enough to get a little face time with Edward in. We found everything we needed on eBay, of course.