Seriously, I’m supposed to believe that Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Moss got into an argument over some potato chips? This is what we’re calling news? Ridiculous.

In case you didn’t hear, the two super-skinny sistas apparently got into a fight while they were both in Mexico to celebrate some rich guy’s 60th birthday party. According to The Sun, Gwynnie was out for a jog on the beach when she encountered Moss, who was hanging out and eating chips. The supermodel asked why the supermom was running and Gwyneth shot back, ” So I don’t look like you when I get old.” Moss, whose a year younger than Paltrow, suggesting that she “Eat some fucking carbs.” (Hey, Kate isn’t the first there.)

That’s it. That’s the conflict apparently. I mean, obviously reps for Paltrow are denying the confrontation ever took place, but I’m not quite sure why they’re bothering. That catfight is weaker than malnourished kittens.

If we’re going to imagine that these two ladies had an argument, at least let’s make it a little bit exciting. When it comes to fan fiction on a Moss-Paltrow showdown, let’s show The Sun how it’s done. I’ll include my imaginary battle, but make sure to leave your’s in the comments.

Kate the Great: How’s the cleanse treatin’ you?

GOOP: About as well as the coke habit’s treating you.

Kate the Great: You know I stopped that about the same time your husband stopped being an actual musician. I mean really, Coldplay? You could’ve done better Gwynnie.

GOOP: At least people would know my husband’s name even if he weren’t married to me.

Kate the Great: If people know your name because they hate you, is it really a good thing? Something to ponder in your next newsletter.

GOOP: Take a shower.

Kate the Great: Take a laxative.

(Photo: Hollywood Life)