Move over Freud...

Move over Freud…

Before this world is over, James Franco will have managed to taken on every possible career path in the existence of man. He’s an artiste! He’s a writer! He’s a director! He’s a perpetual pothead who is now fancying himself a therapist, too — or at least one who knows a thing or two about diagnosing his fellow celebrities who have more than a few demons.

In case you’re not on the up and up, Franco directed the video for REM’s song “Blue,” last month and for reasons that seemed strange at the time, he chose Lindsay Lohan to star in it. (Maybe he was trying to throw her a bone after being ripped apart by critics regarding her portrayal of Liz Taylor?)

No, that wasn’t it at all.

As Franco so soulfully explained to MTV, he’s been writing poems about actors who have died far too young and a couple of them have been about Lohan. Why? Because tortured souls understand other tortured souls, and what they know most is that bad behavior leads to book deals.

What? Yes. This makes sense; you’ll see.

“I think one of the reasons it’s so hard is when she gets in trouble, she gets all this attention and I’m sure she gets book offers. Like she goes to jail, and instead of feeling like I really hit a low place, she’ll get a crazy offer for her jail memoir,” he explained.


You guys, this is the reason behind everything she does! It’s not that she’s fucked up thanks to her parents or because she has addictions that have yet to be taken seriously because her fucked up parents don’t care, but because of book offers.

Let’s hope celebrities getting book offers was so 2012, because this shit is getting old fast.

Photo: Cinzia Camela/