guy takes selfie in front of moving train

The next time you feel compelled to pose for a selfie inches away from an oncoming train, keep in mind that you’re about to die. Or record the viral video of the year.

New YouTube user Jared Michael had the brilliant idea to stand close enough to a moving train that its conductor was able to kick him in the head to get him out of the way– and on the off-chance that this video is completely authentic, it’s an utter miracle that he didn’t end up paralyzed.

regina george in a neck brace

Even though I desperately want to believe, there are so many details that make this seem like it couldn’t possibly be real. Why was he recording video (in portrait mode, too) if he was trying to take a selfie? Why did the video start at exactly the right time? Why doesn’t he flinch at the sound of the train? Wouldn’t there be more significant damage done to your body if you got hit with anything at that speed– especially to the neck? Doesn’t the video description (“I tried to take a selfie while a train passed a ‘safe’ distance behind”) seem kind of nonchalant? If this happened to me and I caught it perfectly on film, I’d be covering it with ads and doing everything within my power to make it a million-dollar viral video. And if the conductor saw the kid soon enough to shout “hey!” and try to kick him out of the way, wouldn’t he have blared the horn a lot faster? Is Jared wearing a camera strap around his neck? Why wouldn’t he be using that camera for the selfie? Either this is the craziest sequence of coincidences ever captured on video, or a really good editor spent a lot of time and effort crafting these nine seconds.

Until we know for sure, though, I’ll just be sitting here… gaping… hitting the replay button. Over and over.

Via Clutch / Photos: YouTube, Mean Girls (2004)