dick pic job application

When you’re applying to jobs, you obviously want to distinguish yourself from the hoards vying for the same position as you. So maybe you pad your resume or have a friend with InDesign make you some snappy business cards. You do your research on the company, write a stellar cover letter, and proof read everything ten times. And if you really, really want to separate yourself from the pack, you should go ahead and include a picture of your genitals. One Dallas man did exactly that, but somehow the dick pic he sent in with his resume did not secure him the job. Better luck next time.

He did, however, end up receiving a ticket for the class C misdemeanor of obscene display or distribution. I feel pretty bad for this dude–it was clearly a very stupid mistake that landed him in trouble with THE LAW. Unless, of course, this wasn’t a mistake and he actually intended to send a dick pic along with his application to Texas Workforce Solutions, a “state agency tasked with arranging employment opportunities and adult education for its clients.” In that case, he deserved his ticket, big time. He’s also probably now grappling with the fact that his whole downstairs area isn’t as dazzling as he thought, and was not impressive to his prospective employer. That’s a lot of well-deserved rejection for one day.

Let’s switch back to the assumption that this was a mistake and not a strategy–at the very least this very humiliated man can serve as a warning for all you bros out there who delight in taking pictures of yourselves. Keep a separate folder–nay–separate computer for your selfies so that you’ll never confuse them with job applications, as this poor soul did. And if you’re tasked with fielding job applications, prepare for the worst. There could be a penis in there.

Photo: Lisa F. Young/Shutterstock