Iceland may be broke and have crazy volcano shit happening right now, but you should move there – at least if you are of the dude persuasion. A study shows that only 60 of every 1,000 men in Iceland die before the age of 60. The runner-up is Sweden, which has 71 deaths per 1,000. As for their lady counterparts, the top five best countries for longevity are Cyprus, South Korea, Japan, Italy, and Greece.

As for the US of A? As usual, we’re an embarrassment to first-world nations, placing #49 for women and #45 for men, a significant decline from last year. Why? The study says it’s because we’re getting too fat. So try to take it easy on those Burger King brunches if you want to live longer, OK? Or if that doesn’t help, pretend Karl Lagerfeld is giving you death glares from the other side of the room.