Mila Kunis is pregnant with Ashton Kutcher!

Congratulations, world! The second absurdly attractive human’s conception has been announced in the past month, as it has been reported that Mila Kunis is pregnant with fiancee Ashton Kutcher‘s baby.

The news comes hot on the tales of Scarlett Johansson announcing her own pregnancy, so considering their genes, we can only assume these two babies will either be best friends in infinite greatness or mortal enemies. Yes, it is very early in the morning so pitting two not-yet-born babies against one another is a thing I am doing. And man, the universe is being quite kind to the celebrisphere these days for mid-2000s stars, what with Blair Waldorf Leighton Meester and Seth Cohen Adam Brody tying the knot. 2014 is shaping up to be an excellent year for people who work best in a romantic comedy setting!

Apparently, there were rumors that Kutcher and Kunis (wow, I never realized how cute their last names are together) were having twins, but they are expecting one baby. No word yet on whether Ashton plans on naming it something awful, then when it can finally process gullibility, letting the baby know it was all an elaborate rouse. Just once, I want to hear Ashton Kutcher say, “You got punk’d, baby!” in the most literal way possible.

On another note, this sort of makes the whole Ashton “asking for her father’s permission” thing even more hilarious, given that a considerable number (albeit not all, surely) of the people who defend the whole “tradition” thing (fathers giving away their daughters) typically don’t believe in premarital sex either. But, y’know, to each their own picking and choosing.

Given Mila’s engagement ring, we can only imagine that the baby will wear some sort of wildly gem-filled tiara for the first five years of its life. Then Ashton Kutcher will force it to be on Look Who’s Punk’ing, Too and it will just wear sunglasses. And that will be freaking adorable.

Photo: Justin K. Aller/Getty Images