Dep't Of Agriculture Warns Of Arrival Of Giant African Land Snails In U.S.

I don’t go to the spa because I want to relax. I go to the spa because I want something completely and utterly disgusting to happen to me. Fortunately, a new beauty treatment that involves having snails crawl across your face is really helping me out with that.

According to The Daily Mail: 

A revolutionary new facial that involves allowing live snails to slither across the complexion has been hailed the next big thing in beauty thanks to the glow-boosting properties of snail mucus.

The mucus, which contains a mix of powerful proteins, antioxidants and hyularonic acid, is said to help skin retain moisture, soothe inflammation and remove dead skin.

They are supposedly going to reverse the damage done by the sun!

‘Snail slime can help the recovery of skin cells on the face, so we expect the snail facial to help heal damaged skin,’ Yoko Miniami, sales manager at Tokyo’s Clinical Salon which offers the treatment, told the Sunday Telegraph.

The substance is also believed to help tackle sun damage, according to Ms Miniami, who said: ‘We are interested in the fact that snails have a function that can help heal skin damaged by ultraviolet rays.’

Look, I’m not trying to be a jerk, but just get Botox. Get Botox which seems guaranteed to work rather than gambling on the magical properties of snails. And, while you’re at it, you should probably wear sunscreen. That will help out as well, and mean that you won’t have to have snails crawling all over you.

Picture via Getty