It has recently come to my attention that I had a somewhat more ridiculous New Year’s Eve than anyone else here at The Gloss, with the possible exception of Ashley, whose activities have not yet been revealed to me. I have to save many of the details for another story I’m writing, but in case you are curious, here are some select tidbits I can share with you.

-Woke up on a pull-out couch at my friend’s house in New Orleans. Reminisced about the night before, when I had gotten into a fight with a jukebox for refusing to play anything but ’90s douche rock and had a brief freakout that everyone in a particular bar mural looked like my parents, who were not to see me partying. (I’d quickly gotten over it, made friends with some plants and realized they are just like us, in that they enjoy getting touched and somewhat damaged sometimes.)

UPDATE: There was also a painting that looked a creepy amount like my roommate and me. Here is a picture:

Screen Shot 2013-01-04 at 4.08.24 PM

-Ate half of a mushroom chocolate and went to a gay country club, where I floated around topless in a heated pool and drank a mimosa while marveling at the sunset, the colored lights in the water, and the giant, building-sized projection of the news. Looked in the mirror and saw that the innocence had returned to my eyes.

-Still on mushrooms and with much assistance, cut a thrift store dress short to make it wearable by me. Applied glitter to face.

-Went to Wendys, where an altercation was taking place and it took approximately 20 minutes to receive a salad and a baked potato.

-Successfully made most of said foods go in my mouth instead of on the floor of my taxicab. (I’m lying.)

-Saw the Black Lips. Consumed MDMA. People kept telling me I looked like a princess. Me: “I FEEL like a princess!” A cartoon Disney princess, I clarified. New friendships formed.

-Got positive confirmation that at least several of my new friends were on the exact same drugs as me. Hooray!

-Tried to text boyfriend a photo version of a kiss, but it came out sort of grotesque. “That is my mouth,” I clarified.

-Drunk call from boyfriend. “I can’t hear you! I love you!” I yelled.

-Walked down Bourbon Street and got a “hand grenade” (pictured) which I could not drink because it was tasted like sugary lighter fluid, but which I enjoyed holding in my hand. It was very crowded and I felt very connected to everyone!

-Paused for a moment while some members of my ever-growing group did drugs in the car of a moderately well known hiphop group.

-Did some quick interviews with members of band(s), which were cut short because someone I was interviewing had to puke. I was starting to feel pretty tired, myself. Sat down for a bit. Came back to find my subject had left.

-Some people were having sex on the floor of the bathroom. “Don’t look at me!” I yelled at them as I sat down to pee.

-Texted with boyfriend. He told me he was going to crash my dress, shrewdly. Went back to hotel. Cuddled with pillow. Too tired to sneak into hot tub.

-Passed out at 7am in giant hotel bed, satisfied that I had really made this one count.

-Drank approximately two alcoholic beverages all night. Drinking is bad for you!