everyone's talking about you

“No, I wasn’t here for the last one, I was trapped inside of a gift card.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”


“That must have been unbearable.”

“The worst part was I couldn’t leave until the balance returned to zero.”

“You’re joking.”

“Fourteen cents. There were fourteen cents left on it for a year.”

“A year.”

“I thought I wasn’t going to make it out before it expired.”

“Oh, don’t say that.”

“Anyhow, I got lucky. What about you? What have you been up to?”

“It wasn’t a great year. I lived in a yeast packet on the International Space Station.”

“God, that sounds awful.”

“Oh, it was. You ever try to haunt an astronaut?”

“You poor thing.”

“I think I developed a gluten allergy by the end.”


“Is there gluten in yeast?”




“That’s her over there. She’s been waiting for him ages now.”

“Has anyone seen him yet tonight?”

“Oh. Oh, you won’t have heard, then.”

“Heard what? I haven’t heard anything; I only just got here myself.”

“He actually made it through. Survived the accident.”

“Oh, God.”

“I know. You know he’s actually at the other reunion right now, with the rest of the living?”

“Oh, my God.”


“I feel like such an idiot – I actually asked her if she was looking forward to seeing him again. I thought something seemed strange.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did, I did.”

“Tell me you didn’t say that.”

“I didn’t know! Nobody told me! I would never have, if I’d known.”

“Tcch, it’s just terrible. Terrible.”

“How’s she holding up?”

“Well, she isn’t happy about it.”

“No, I wouldn’t think so.”

“But what can you do? And time is on her side, of course.”

“That always helps.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”


[Photo via Flickr]