Would you like your house guests to make frequent 911 calls from the toilet because it looks like someone was just murdered in your bathroom? Would you like to shock yourself awake in the morning with the brief belief that you stepped on something sharp and are now bleeding to death? Or maybe you just wish Patrick Bateman were real so you could kiss and marry him? Then have I got the bath mat for you!

The aptly named Blood Bath Bath Mat is made of durable acrylic and is perfect for all of your decoration needs. It comes pre-stained with the blood of the innocent, and will turn your house into a horror movie set in no time. It also comes with a non-slip backing, because you can never be too careful about safety when pretending to be stabbed. Special two-for-one mother/son discount if your name is Norman Bates.

($21.99)