Man, I have to see Shame! Seriously, how have I gone this long and endured this many references to Michael Fassbender‘s apparently awesome penis without seeing that movie? Ashley and Jen are thankful for his existence. George Clooney is praising his full-frontal bravery at awards shows. And now Charlize Theron, who I kind of adore, is talking about this magical appendage at a Human Rights Gala. Really. Thank you for supporting equality and working with Michael Fassbender’s cock.

After reading about Theron’s pretty hilarious acceptance speech, where she volunteered to work with the-most-talked-about-dick-ever any time, I’ve been trying to figure out how I could work this new penis-talk trend into my own life. When exactly can a person compliment their co-worker’s penis?

If movie stars are really just like us, and every tabloid magazine tells me they are, I should be able to talk about my boss’s junk whenever I want, right? Accepting a prestigious award? Sure, why not mention a person’s private parts.

Here are some other situations when I think that we should start talking about penis in the workplace. Just to liven things up a little.

(Photo: People)