Once upon a time, Stephen Colbert had Anna Wintour on “The Colbert Report,” and it was potentially the greatest 30 minutes of programming the small screen has ever seen.

Now, with the release of his new book, “America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren’t,” Colbert tells Women’s Wear Daily that he wants to be able to take Wintour out on a date:

WWD: You had Anna Wintour on your show recently.
She was great! We’re supposed to go on a date together. Where were we supposed to go, Cheesecake Factory?

WWD: I think you guys said Long John Silver’s, to lose yourselves in battered shrimp.
S.C.: [Laughs] That’s exactly right. We haven’t gone yet, but I still hope.

So, show of hands — who would try to stalk them if you heard that they were going to be somewhere together? I would. I’d get straight up FBI on that shit, sitting outside the restaurant in a white van with headphones and a super high-level camera lens. Don’t even fuck around. Right?? Who’s with me??